Scott Woods

My Ex by Way of Review

If you don't have a reservation, expect a wait.
Call well in advance. A reservation can be hard to get
and it is not uncommon to arrive and find
someone sitting at your table, eating your lunch.

If you discover you're part of a large group
reserve the communal table in the back,
which seats up to seven large gentleman at a time.
Follow the locals to one of the best openings in town.

Dress accordingly. If you find that you haven't, fear not:
she will pick out all of your clothes for you anyway.
For the price, it's almost totally not worth it.
It is an outrageous value for a relationship of this quality.

You'll be thinking about this one long after it's gone,
a hint of cold spaghetti on the tongue,
a whiff of Spanish lotion in an old letter,
with a finish ending in a three month tryst with her old boyfriend.

Consider visiting in the spring or summer,
when her dresses are as short as her temper,
but reserve in advance: popularity and size limit the availability here.
Order the heart, rare. If it's not on the menu, ask for it anyway.

Backward   |   Issue One   |   Forward