Kimmy Walters

my life with so-and-so


so-and so translates my diary into french on a lark.

so-and-so shaves my head and doesn’t comment on the scar.

so-and-so absolves me of my sins.

so-and-so refuses to kiss me.

so-and-so kisses me until my face bleeds.

so-and-so asks if I’m drunk enough and I remind him
that I’m carrying half a cake around in my bare hands.

so-and-so halfheartedly tries to kill me underneath an oak tree.

so-and-so explains how trebuchets work
and is startled when I begin crying.

so-and-so demonstrates how thick gin looks during the pour
and is startled when I begin crying.

so-and-so pledges to maintain a spreadsheet
devoted to my emotional reactions and their causes.

so-and-so makes a list of weird things she buried as a child.

so-and-so quotes lolita while we’re in the shower together.

so-and-so drunkenly whispers his social security number
into my ear for no apparent reason.

so-and-so survives a natural disaster.

so-and-so survives a seizure.

brain cancer.

the flu.

so-and-so searches for a condom beneath a swinging lightbulb.

so-and-so teaches me how to use a slow cooker in the kitchen of a frat house.

so-and-so accidentally drops her passport into the pacific ocean.

so-and-so tears up during the in-flight movie.

so-and-so confesses that he can’t grow hair on his arms.

so-and-so gives birth to twins.

so-and-so sees a dead body floating in lake michigan
and calls me immediately.

so-and-so describes what she is wearing.

so-and-so insists that I stop washing my hair so it’s easier to braid.

so-and-so looks into the mirror I’m holding and
appears to notice he is blonde for the first time.

so-and-so writes “plan b” on the memo line of the check.

so-and-so throws a dart at my class picture and hits me right in the nose.

so-and-so walks into a meadow.

a different meadow.

a different meadow.



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