Ara Hawkins

Amelia on the Mountain

I can see the warning label on my walls... "contains formaldehyde."  Having a bedroom in a trailer is like  living in a slow
moving vehicle.  The sun only shines  here  because it doesn't  have a choice.  Elmer lives across the street in a box just
like mine.  He drinks his  coffee  with  his  dick  in his hand.  He hopes I  will  stay until he finishes.  I spend most of the
night talking to  men  on the internet.  Telling them what I'm wearing.  If I can get something from them,  I send nipple
shots.  I don't care if I have to send pussy pics to China;  no one is more desperate than a smart girl in West Virginia.  I
have a boyfriend.  Everyone calls him Jay.  He's not like the other boys here but he doesn't know that so I guess he's no
different.  He steals  his  mom's pills,  sells them,  spends the money on crystal.  He's my escape.  I  hate  to admit  that
because I think he loves me.  But  I can't afford to love anyone here;  I'm already poor.  Girls here have babies at 15,  a
pepsi and smoking habit at 10,  and no life until death.  Mark my words, that won't be me.  No one wants you to get out
because then they have to realize that they are in.  So,  I hide my hand.  I got a poker face like Satan. I bury myself in a
hole in my head because that's where I'm free.

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